*Chellie* =o) (chelliebellie27) wrote,
*Chellie* =o)
chelliebellie27

Crushed...

I`m at a big loss for words. I feel like I *need* to write something but what do I write. What do you say when you lose your grandfather and best friend at the same time? :( He passed away at 5:00 this morning. The hospice nurse that was with him said he went peacefully, but that doesn`t mean I`m supposed to be happy that I had to let him go.

On one hand I could be selfish and say, "I wasn`t ready for him to go"...but he always taught me to want what was best for others, and the best thing for him was to go home...and be with God and the rest of his loved ones that have passed on.

Crazy thing is, he`s been gone now for almost 11 hours, and I feel completely numb. Like, I cried for the first two hours he was gone, but then I kind of realized he was in a better place, where he belongs...now I`m just kind of numb to it all. Like I don`t feel anything at all really..and it bothers me. I`m sure it just hasn`t hit me yet. I`m sure that it will sink in and I will be a complete and total mess...but for now. I`m ok.

I miss him :(
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